A Fallen Light, A New Hope

The Lost One's Tome III

Parallels

A Forgotten Time…

I have failed in my promise.  I tried, I did everything I could, but it was not enough. I wanted to help them, but the next part is hastily scratched out

That girl, she was no older than I am, and to die in such a way. Was she afraid? Was she in pain? I’ve tormented myself with these questions over and over again, but none of them have come close to the guilt of asking myself if I could have done more. I had hoped to disable them, but what if one more strike could have made a difference? What if I had worn her down more before fleeing and leaving the burden to Arseni? Would Mireya’s sister, an innocent young girl, be alive?

There is no victory in this. Only the pain and suffering of a family in mourning, and failure and regret of the people who should have saved her. Only that hag knows joy from this outcome. That creature and her malice are frightening. I do not know if I have the stregnth to face down such a creature, even out of my debt to these people.

I doubt many other things as well. Roy asked me if I could handle this. If I could fight and be willing to have blood on my hands. I did not think that blood would be of an innocent when I said yes. I am not sure I was thinking at all in fact.

I know that the real answer is no. I can not do this. I am so sorry, to these people who I made a promise to I can not keep, and to the woman who wasted this power on a weak, lost little girl.

I am truly sorry, but we part with the elves. Where I can not burden people with such important destinies as them.

The previous page lays open as the owner falls into her meditation, only for the words to fade from the page. The ink lifting off in a soft black mist in the moonlight, the owner awakens suddenly confused and looks down to see her journal open on an empty page in her lap. She smiles and reaches for her pack to pull put her pen and write on the same page as before

3rd 6th day, Claw of Sunsets

I can not believe this. We won. We actually won. I am ashamed to admit I had little confidence in this ending well, but somehow we pulled through. Their friend and Mireya’s brother are safe, and all I can think about is the happiness everyone felt when the child and the girl were seen back with us. I played only a small part in that, but yet it feels like the grandest achievment in my life.

Today I feel more satisfied with these last few days than I have with most of my life. These people certainly have strange and dangerous lives, but perhaps it is worth it for these moments alone? Where you may look back and know good has been done.

I have always felt lost, even before being consumed by the techery of the wilds. I wandered through my life without purpose or direction and fought back against the ones others pushed on me simply out of spite. This time I simply did what I thought was right, and I am finally happy with the outcome of a choice I’ve made.

We leave for the elves soon, but I do not think I will stay with them like Roy suggested. There is much of this I have yet to understand still, and I am afraid, but I think in the end I will be alright. I think all of us shall.

Perhaps these people and this place are where I can find myself.

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