Contrary to what my experience in life so far would tell me, it seems that there is a chance for what should be disaster to turn out for the better.
By no fault of mine, Mrs. Marsk seems to have found out about Briar and the whole unusual circumstances surrounding his birth, as well as my current nightmare of a situation. I keep telling myself that I should be furious with Aaron for letting this very personal information slip into the hands of such an imposing woman. She may be Briar’s grandmother, but this was not his place to say.
Instead, however, I find myself relieved. Reluctantly though it may have been, it would seem that my son’s existence has turned her opinion around to my own… although I admit to being a bit taken aback to know that it was she who has been behind my inability to pin down Anzo as of late. With what little I know of her, I should not be surprised, but it would be just like Roza Marsk to always astonish me in new ways the longer I stand within the shadow of her formidable presence.
Nonetheless, it seems that I may have more allies on my side than I could have ever known. Not only did Analissa confirm that she and her people have begun the search on my behalf, but indeed Mrs. Marsk herself seems determined to join the hunt to bring Briar home again.
I know that this should be my fight, and mine alone. But especially after this lost year, especially after the vision I had of him back in the book world, I know in my heart that it will be impossible to muster the force necessary to take down Bagoda myself. Try as I might, I am still so weak, still so fallible. And hate her as I may, I recognize that she is far out of my league and the league of all of us here.
I hope that Mrs. Marsk is as powerful as she claims to be. I hope that it is not a mistake to agree to her involvement.
I hope it is not a mistake for her to bring Anzo here into the midst of this resistance, and all of the danger it carries along with it. I so dearly wish to see him again, but I know that in the past, the closer he has gotten to me, the more precarious the situations into which he has been drawn.
And, of course, I must fear his reaction to all of this news. I never had a chance to see him again after he received the last letter I wrote him, nor have I received any response in return. Where I was unsure of him knowing the truth before, now Mrs. Marsk is determined that he will understand the meaning behind everything. He will be forced to face me with the knowledge of every last detail, and an obligation imposed by his mother to do something about it.
In the last letter, I had offered myself to him in response to his proposal, if he would still have me.
After everything, and under the pressure of Roza’s iron-clad will, will he still want to go through with things? I would not blame him if he did not.