A Fallen Light, A New Hope

An Alchemist's Tale XV

Its done… but… at what cost.. she’s gone, I… I didn’t think she would leave! i thought we could help her get back what she lost. I am so sorry Selise, Iona. everyone.. I made an error in judgment.. or at least I gave a bad idea… I may have hurt a lot of people with this I just hope they can forgive me.

As for what’s next… I have to have many conversations. The guard captain regarding Selise.. grandmother about my father, something i never thought i would say! Kaleb and Ander about how we can move forward with the least amount of damage.. I have a lot of information to gain and share. I will be writing a lot in my next entry I am sure of it.

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Bagoda's Offer
Selises goodbye

The tall ebony woman stands in the hut mixing potions and crushing ingredients with a mortar and pestle

Suddenly, like sand swirling in it begins to draw upwards and create a female figure, Selise, she stands before the ebony woman who calls herself Bagoda, her lips perched together she lets out
“Welcome Selise, I’m glad to see you”
Selise looks to Bagoda “Why…. I thought I was going to Car’tie?”
“You are Selise, if that is what you want. After all, we made a deal”.
Selise beginning to become slightly panicked “Then why… am I here now? What do you want from me?”

Bagoda puts her things down and looks over to Selise "My deal child, What I want? I am not in the business of what I want, but I am here to… offer you a… “new” deal" Badoga smirks to Selise.

End

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Mournings IV
Kalebs Mournings

The date seems warped and not legible, it appears to be sometime during the leap of time

It’s been quite awhile since I last wrote. Things were spinning out of control for awhile but things seem to be a bit more clear now.

I ran away at first, I went somewhere; I was having dreams that Aaron showed up and found me, but it wasn’t Aaron, it was Ander, it’s always Ander… Aaron would go out on adventures, but ander was always there, beside me when I needed him.

I love Aaron, I am sure that I always will, but the burden of guilt seems to be lifting. I don’t think I’ll get over everything any time soon; but I finally see myself in a place where I can move forward.

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Mournings III
Kalebs Mournings

The date seems warped and not legible, it appears to be sometime during the leap of time

I don’t know what I’ve done, or what to do. The writing seems to become frantic I made a move on An… I kissed him, I felt like my world was crashing down and he was there to catch me, and he did and now I feel like I’m flying and my world is spinning endlessly.

I don’t know anymore what I should do, for the first time in weeks I feel something other than sadness. Ander seemed upset.. like I was using him as some sort of rebound…

x Kaleb Balmonte

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Mournings II
Kalebs Mournings

The date seems warped and not legible, it appears to be sometime during the leap of time

I’ve spent nearly every day at Ander’s home, sleeping on his couch, it has gotten to the point where I wake up next to him, it’s the same almost every time. He is sitting asleep on the end and I am half laying on top of him.

So now I am beginning to feel grief and guilt.

x Kaleb Balmonte

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Mournings I
Kalebs mournings

The date seems warped and not legible, it appears to be sometime during the leap of time

It seemed like time would be endless, that we would have as long as we wanted together, At this point I am not even sure of what to do now.

Callum seems adamant on the fact that I move forward with my life, he waited a week for me “grieve” as he calls it. But Callum has always been cold and unrelenting.

I’ve been clingy towards Ander lately, he has been trying to make me feel better and being a good friend. I am probably bothering him way to much,… not many people see it, he comes off as cold, but he has this comfortable side about him. I can find peace when I am with him.

x Kaleb Balmonte

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Chronicles of Solanaceae I
Return from the dead

29th of Eleasis

I have missed a lot in the time that I’ve been away it seems. Very little of it good news. It is bad enough to be burdened with hazy visions of my time with Caldwrath, a haze that seems to be slowly growing clearer as the momenenta pass, but now there is so much more to deal with in simply returning to my old life. Selise is the rest of the line is crossed out she’s gone.

She struck a deal with Bagoda, the woman who refused to take from me for a price that was too high. Apparently losing her entire life wasn’t too high for Selise. I read her journal, not jut the entry she marked, but all of it. Why did they let he walk this path? Why did she choose to get so involved with this knowing how it troubled her? I do not know who or what to be angry with, but my only other option seems to be grief. I can’t slip too far into either at the moment.

Oh Selise what have you done? Did you even think of the people who love you when you decided to do this?

the next few lines are blank and wrinkled with tear patches

She is gone and there is nothing I can do for that. As much as I appreciate Aaron’s comforting, there is no comfort or assurance for this. There’s no happy ending waiting for Selise and I, or her family from this. We’ve lost her, and she offered no indication of where Bagoda was to send her. There is nothing left but to mourn for her.

Even aside from Selise so much has happened. So many adventures missed and so many tragedies faced. I was there for none of them and it enrages me. I was unsure whether to feel proud or horrified at Aaron’s retellings. Clearly he and Arseni have had even less luck in staying out of trouble since I left. I’ll need to keep an eye on them. Also I need to see grandmother and grandfather as soon as possible. I imagine grandfather will be quite cross with me, but I don’t really care at the moment. It’ll be amazing simply to be back home with them.

Speaking of Arseni, they have a rather unique situation. He has become a female half elf. The poor dear doesn’t seem to know what to do with themself. My only advice is to stay clear of Markus. Having your ears pulled hurts.

Everyone seems to be going through something right now, and I’m not quite sure how to help. I still need to speak with Kara about things. She’s been a great support through this as well, which is more than I can say for myself when she needed me.

They all suffered great injury in that fight and were drained out by Caldwrath. Especially poor Arseni. I have a feeling that if we are to travel like this, it won’t be wise to invite any danger our way.

Of course anything that invites itself will have to move past my blades first. And I’m quite eager to test out the new orc dagger I just found.

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Tactician's Memoir's: The final chapter
A mountain of regrets

Unknown Date, Eleasis

I don’t know if I’ve done the right thing…I think I’m a coward, but isn’t it better for everyone if I am gone? The burdens I have placed upon those around me are too great, and if I can save Iona as well as relieve those, well then why not. Bagoda was right, my family will be fine without me. What have I ever given them aside from a mountain of grief and worry? Marta…I regret not being able to see her grow, but she is strong and she will make her own way in the world without me.

I don’t know if this is actually what I want. I am afraid, and feel so lost. Yet it feels I have no one to turn to for it. I have put my friends in turmoil, my aunt and uncle are too far away to reach out to, and I’ll be lucky to even be able to say goodbye to Iona before Bagoda’s deal sweeps me away. But perhaps then there will be no more of this pain, this loathing, and fear eating me away.

To lose the memories of my entire life, and all the people I know…and sent away to completely start a new. I don’t know if I can do it, but I already made my choice in that hut I suppose. Although I get the feeling the price may have been better off in the Duke’s hands now that I ponder. Am I not still dying in another way? At least with his I would not have to live with a part of myself missing and never being able to find it. Her argument certainly seemed convincing at the time, but now the remainder of the sentence is scribbled outMireya…you were right, and we were so very wrong.

Oh gods, what have I done?

I think that I intend to leave this journal to my friends for this last entry if nothing else. Maybe in part to warn them what a deal truly looks like to the person taking it before the price is collect, but mostly to say one thing.

I am sorry. I am so, so sorry for all the turmoil I have caused you until now, and even still with dividing us by my decision. For all the pain I will bring to Iona with this.

These are the final regrets of the Selise Avalon you know.

two folded letters are between the pages bookmarking this entry, one titled ‘For Iona’, and another titled ‘For my family’

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An Alchemist's Tale XIV

Unknown Date, Eleasis

I… I don’t know where to begin to explain my feelings at this current moment… first I return to Baemore to find it aflame.. everything i know and remember being destroyed. I rushed to help my grandmother and make sure she was safe, and we tried to help as many as we could.. I saw a burning guard tower and felt the need to check in, just in case Kaleb or Ander were inside… Thankfully I did as they were both there, Ander stuck fighting a bandit, Kaleb pinned under a burning piece of the tower. I rushed over and freed Him, and gave him a quick hug and a kiss. they offered to send someone to help, but I quickly refused and told them to watch each other and watch our backs, we didn’t need reinforcements heading into the city.

We continued on, clearing what we could, and helping those that needed it. unfortunately we were to late for Grigor, he didn’t survive the raids.. Luckily Esvelle did so when Iona comes back she will have someone..

Oh right, Iona is a live. that was a surprise.. not only that but the vampire Bagoda want’s us to kill is the one that has Iona… we need to kill him to free her.. well so we thought… but that would kill her as well.. so Selise wanted to make a deal, her life for Iona’s.. The duke, Aerik, is of the same kind as Bagoda, only he deals with youth.. life itself for his services.

Selise decided to go see Bagoda, and before i could help her make her final decision I was ushered away back to fort Baemore, unable to know what will happen to my friend. all I know is a deal was struck, and that Iona would be saved with the deal that was made. I can only assume a lot of memories were the price.. i just pray it wasn’t as bad as dieing itself..

Now for the best part… the part that has me so confused… hurt… sad… but I can’t show any of these emotions. I need to be the strong one. I need to be there for Iona.. and Selise.. I need to make Arsenie feel safe and not afraid of his new situation (he died.. at least I think he did). but he came back, as a half elven girl.. I don’t know what to think of this to be honest… Lastly I need to make sure I protect Mireya.. I there is so much I feel I need to do right now.. and through all of this I have lost sight of the most important person in my life besides grandmother…

Kaleb, I now realize why you have done what you did… I.. I am sorry, not that will ever see this, I have been so unfair to you, and I am sorry it has taken me losing over a month of time to realize it. No matter what happens going forward I love you, and always will… but I can’t write all these feelings here.. I will just have to make sure I make it home to talk to you about them than.

~Aaron Lyne,
Alchemist Apprentice of Baemore

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Trappers Tales XI
Unknown day, Eleasis - Lost and Broken Things

Unknown day, Eleasis

I awoke, my friends huddled around me, not initially realising anything was wrong. I knew I’d been knocked out, and could have sworn I was slipping away, but when I came back to my senses I thought the slipping must have been a fever dream.
I was so shocked I almost missed the ears, as they weren’t even the first clue that anything was wrong. I’m no longer me, at least in body.
At least I’m alive, I’ve got my mind and memories, friends and family (for what they’re worth, outside Zia). All I’ve lost is my appearance.

I didn’t know what to do, so I took my usual plan of action when I don’t know what to do: I went to see Zia. I probably should have thought what I’d say to her when I arrived home, but it wasn’t until Hrodgeirr started asking who I was that I realised I’d have to explain who I am. I couldn’t do it, not to him. Even Zia I struggled. Eventually she told me I’d be best off staying with Kara. Between the walk and the conversation, I also discovered we’d been missing a month.
At least I’m alive, I’ve got my mind and memories, friends and Zia. All I’ve lost is my appearance, a month, my home and things I wasn’t carrying.

Regrouping, it seemed everyone had had a rough time of it. Silese was told about her trial coming up in just a week now, Aaron hadn’t been able to find Kaleb and Mireya seemed sad that her family had all gone to Baemore farms, leaving her to a cold home coming. I tried to cheer up Mireya by taking me clothes shopping, given I’d need a whole new wardrobe now. I think it helped, but it may have just been hope.

Following that, we went to see Captain Tresden. On the body of Giddeon we found a book, implicating a number of people around town who worked for him, and had decided to return the log to her, and let the guards handle it. Unfortunately, none of us had planned on explaining my presence, and the seeming lack of Arseni, and my power was let slip.
At least I’m alive, I’ve got my mind and memories, friends and Zia. All I’ve lost is my appearance, a month, my home and things I wasn’t carrying, and my secret.

We decided that we’d do our best to save Iona from the vampire, Caldwrath, before Selise got her trial, to both keep her mind off it, and to give her another good act to claim. To this end, we were heading south, which was perfect for me as I wanted to see the Duke.
After a short while faffing about to get past his guards, we were directed to a young man working in a tavern. He was given quick access, and we were allowed through with him. The Duke recognised me on sight, which was relieving, but was either unwilling or unable to help me just now.
At least I’m alive, I’ve got my mind and memories, friends and Zia. All I’ve lost is my appearance, a month, my home and things I wasn’t carrying, my secret and my short term hope.

However, we were hoping to get assistance from Duke Arik, which was still on the table, but the first thing Silese asked was whether killing him would free Iona. Nothing is ever that simple, though, is it?
In order to free Iona entirely, a deal would need to be struck, either with the Duke or Bagoda. Duke Arik seemed reluctant to offer his deal, and I see why. It was horrific. Taking all the life, years and youth from someone, although he refused to accept from me, in return for his services.
I knew that he offered nothing for free, but I had no idea how steep his terms were. It makes me fear for what I owe for my training.

The other alternative was Bagoda, the swamp witch. I should have gone with her, tried to council Silese, but I was in a panic.
I don’t know the details of the deal struck, but it appears it was made with Bagoda. My friend will be given her time until the vampire is defeated, and then… I don’t know what will happen to her.

At least I’m alive, I’ve got my mind and memories, some of my friends and Zia. I’ve lost is my appearance, a month, my home and things I wasn’t carrying, my secret, some of my faith in my mentor, and another friend.

I wonder if The Duke will berate me again if I cry.

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