2nd 3rd day, Ches
Some time back, I guess longer ago than I even realised, thinking about the time we’ve missed, I wrote in here about the things I’ve lost since that camping trip.
Some those losses have faded in time, but a lot still hurt. A lost month seems like nothing, to the years since, and a lot of my things that I lost I’ll never miss. Home never felt much like a home to me anyway. On the other hand, I still miss being me, and I miss my friends, and I don’t think I’ll ever not want that back.
Since I wrote that, though, I feel I’ve lost so much more. I’ve lost more things, which can be replaced. I’ve lost more time, and another form of me (Although this one works much closer to actually me, so at least that had a positive).
I’ve lost more friends, which hurts. I don’t even know if all my lost friends are lost, at this point. Last time we saw Tavion he said nothing to us, but was that because he wanted nothing to do with us, or was it because he was afraid of what would happen if he did? Kara has disappeared, and we don’t know where she is. Selise is gone, and the less said about Iona the better. I don’t know that she should count, to be honest.
What really makes it hurt, though, is knowing that all the losses, everything we’ve been through, has been for nothing. All along I’ve been trying to make things better. Even as it got darker and darker around us, I kept hoping that we’d be able to stem the tide. At least slow it.
And now everything we’ve done has apparently been undone anyway.
Back when this first began, it started with a necromancer in that cursed cave. We killed him. Our first kill beyond defending ourselves from goblins (depending on how you view Kara wanting to follow them). And we’ve seen him again. Alive. 2 years on. We’ve killed him again, I guess, but who knows how long that will last this time?
So if it hasn’t mattered yet, will any of it matter to come? Has everything we’ve done been of absolutely no value?